Patience is better than power???

I read a verse in Proverbs about patience being better than power: Proverbs 16:32

Patience is better than power, and controlling one’s temper, than capturing a city.  

I've thought a lot about that since.  It seems that God is working His patience teaching into me.  Just when I thought that His patience teaching could have taught me all I needed to learn in that area...

So, this verse has given me a bunch of encouragement - that the instilling of patience is worth IT.  

Patience is better than power???  Power is very, well.... powerful.  Patience is what?  Does my patience have influence?  What does it accomplish?  It certainly helps me NOT to go crazy.  It helps me to train my children without exasperating them.  It helps me to hold my tongue sometimes.  It helps me to avoid unjustly judging others.  It helps me to stand back and let things unfold without whipping myself into a frenzy and trying to make life go MY way.  It helps me NOT to get divorced.  It stays me when my first impulse leans in a specific direction and WAIT until I know better.  It helps me to be content when things are challenging.  It helps me to slow down and realize the moment's blessings and be THANKFUL.  And it helps me NOT to go crazy.

Those are my first thoughts about it.  So, is patience better than power?  At times it feels immensly empowering to be patient.  Other times, honestly, I feel like a doormat, "Sure, walk over me, I can take it, I'm patient."  

Maybe there is a depth to this type of patience development within my character that makes the surface floating power seem shallow and less valuable?  Perhaps the VALUE of the patience in my being surpasses the VALUE of power in the moment?  Perhaps power is fleeting, like a pleasure, and patience is a staying sustenance?  Perhaps the power is only power in the world and patience endures through eternity?

I don't know, but I have a new and beautiful hope in the hard work of learning patience and the value of having learned it - more and more.

Life's Distractions

Sometimes I think that we try to walk our life's journey but get bombarded with 'distractions'.  You can imagine what I mean by distractions - I'm sure you have a set of your own distractions!  

And we let these distractions distract us from the journey.  Psst, psst - little do we know, that they are part of our journey and that we must engage them as so - not as distractions- but as part.  

Sometimes the beautiful ugly.  Sometimes the unexpected.  Sometimes the hard.  Sometimes the wind that makes the trunk of our souls curve over like a tree about to snap.  Sometimes little hands that want to stop us and love on us, but we're busy.  Sometimes growing girl thoughts that want us to stop and listen, but we're busy...

Life is life.  Journey in the storm, amidst the chaos, the calm, the creative, the smiles.  

I am determined to leave a touch of love as I walk through those distractions.

How to Have Kids that Behave...

How do you Swipe 90% of Parenting Problems off the Top÷

There is no greater challenge than to raise children to be positive, productive and successful members of a community.  It is a 24/7 ‘job that takes an immense amount of patience, an unending supply of unconditional love and loads of time.  

There are many philosophies regarding rearing and training children.   Without going into the debate over which is best, let’s consider something that will benefit all:  first time obedience.  It sounds simple, yet if you are a parent you know otherwise.  But, think about it...if your child did what you asked him to when you asked him to, it would make life enjoyable for all.

Whatever method of training you decide fits for your family, employ it faithfully and consistently to teach your children to respond to your requests right away with a positive attitude.  No kidding, it will swipe away many of your parenting troubles.  

It is vital to remember that this training is a process and will take much effort on the part of both parents.  Parenting is never a completed task and your training will need to be retrained and reenforced many times over and throughout your child’s growing years, and perhaps beyond.

Do not lose sight of the importance of relationship building with your child.  While it is necessary to teach obedience, it is most essential to cultivate a positive and loving relationship with your child.  These two things go hand in hand when motivated by a caring, tender heart committed to faithfully train a child out of love for that child.

Give it a shot.  First time obedience.  

True Community

Even though I do not know exactly who I am... I’ve lost myself along the way, I do know who I want to be:  His.  In some ways this is true now, but in others ways I journey on.

Abiding in Him as He is in God and God in Him, He in me...  This is what I long for and only see in part.  To surrender all that I know and think about myself and go bare and naked before God with the want and desire to soak up the truth from Him of who I am in Him.  And to become the outpouring of His plans for me.

There is a giving up of myself in this, yet in the giving I know a rebirth of life and truth will emerge.  Fresh, tender and growing.  Real, valid and a genuine ‘fit’ for me.  It only seems like a ‘giving up’.

Perhaps this is what someone would call a mid-life crisis.  I think that maybe it is more an unveiling of truth; a taking off of the blinders.  This life seems to be full of blindfolds.  A putting on of distractions and life living that creates in us blindness.  We grow dull in our ability to perceive truth and find ourselves drifting in and out of other people’s boxes of who we are supposed to be.  A matrix of sorts.

The pain of life seems so tangible and real, yet I wonder if it is because we are too full of ourselves.  The seeking for some type of personal fulfillment.  Perhaps this fulfillment of the personal type is the great deception.  Temporal vs. eternal.  Exchanging the unseen for the seen - or even the exchanging the personal for the spiritual.  The communal living with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

In that communal living, the abiding with Him, a spiritual co-existence, we would be able to find true fulfillment, not of the personal kind but of the eternal kind - the spiritual dimension kind.  Other worldly.  In His world, being fully who He intended for me to be as a part of Him.  

I am lost without this.  Lost.  Empty.  

Simple steps to go 'green'

It is easy to get caught in the easy trends when it comes to lifestyle.  Let me just share a few VERY EASY changes that you could make to your lifestyle that would be moving you toward a more eco-friendly resident of the earth.

1.  Get a few old, no longer used t-shirts from the back of your drawers.  Cut them up into pieces about 1 ft. by 1 ft. in size.  Store them in a very accessible spot in your kitchen (maybe in a container on the counter or a drawer...)  Use these in place of paper towels.

2.  On nice days, hang your clothes on the line to dry instead of using the dryer.  There is an amazing, beautiful, enjoyable rhythm that you will find in this simple chore.

3.  When you are done showering, take a moment to wipe down everything.  This will save you from having to use toxic bathroom cleaner.

4.  Carry a travel mug with you at all times for coffee or hot drinks that you may purchase instead of using a foam or paper cup.  Also, get in the habit of filling your re-usable water bottle and carrying it with you so that you don't have to purchase plastic throw away water bottles.

5.  Whenever you can, use containers (preferably glass) with lids to store your leftovers.  It will become rare for you to need either saran wrap or aluminum foil.

6. RECYCLE as much as you can, of course.

That's enough to get started for now.

Contemplation: A Thing of the Past?

It seems to me that as a current culture, perhaps we are losing the art of contemplation.  The average person spends time 'surfing' websites, microwaving meals,  driving through the drive thrus for all kinds of things from coffee to money at the ATM.  We have a constant access to many options of entertainment.  We get into our cars and drive here and there and back again and then have to go out again.  Go, go, go.

I wonder if it has become challenging for us to stop and actually contemplate.

Contemplate:  to look at or view with continued attention, to consider thoroughly, think fully or deeply about.


Most of us are too busy for that.  There doesn't seem to be enough time in our days for this type of endeavor.  Why?

Perhaps this is a question that we need to contemplate.

Perhaps we need to examine ourselves in order to find out where our mind goes as we walk through our days.  What do our thoughts revolve around?

Are we going to find as our children grow up devoid of this type of brainfood, that it creates imbalance and problems?

I don't know the answers, but I do have feelings that lean toward the importance of balance in our mind's activities.  Balance in our attention.  Balance in a lifestyle that creates an environment that cultivates health and vitality and productivity.  And I guess I believe that we, as a culture, are out of balance in this area.

Hmmm?  Think about it.

Awareness

At times MH will ask me at the end of the day, "What did you do today?"  Well, any stay at home mom dreads this question.  It seems like as I look back over the day, there is a string of monotonous, mundane tasks and activities - if you were going to have to speak it.

How do you speak what you've done/experienced during the day?

I listened to the birds in the wee hours of the morning as I sat still with the Lord.   I was in awe of how late little boys can sleep in... and found little laughs in the shouts of horror one of them yelled as the others tried to arouse him.   I made smoothies and noodles and salads and cracked eggs with a 6 year old and instructed him in the art of cracking and beating.

I listened to countless little boy antics - some fun and some mischievous and some that needed instruction.  I picked up a cat from the vet who had a half-inch pokey stick in her eye and listened to her meow impatiently and loudly all the way home.  I watched with a smile daughter #1 get ready for work and struggle with what shoes to wear that would both look nice and FEEL comfortable enough to be on her feet in.

I cleaned and cleaned and did laundry and re-cleaned and the floor is a mess.  I read beautiful blog posts from daughter #1 listening with my heart to her lovely thoughts.  I experienced the rhythms of work and nature as I hung clothes on the line and felt the sun and breeze, feeling happy in the gifts of them all.

I made plans for supper and sent son #1 out for errands.  I hulled decomposing leafs, full of worms, and spread them over the empty flower bed.  I noticed that the wheelbarrow needed air in the tire as I hulled those leaves around.

I felt a new compassion for the poor cat that followed us home from our walk last week and hasn't left.  I have not let anyone feed him or give him any reason to stay.  We've made many attempts at sending him on his way - all to no avail.  So, today I had daughter #2 post him on craigslist and vowed to feed and care for him until we can find him a home - although I'm still committed to NOT letting him in the house.

I noticed the not-too-cold/not-too-hot temperature of this beautiful day and was full of thankfulness to God for His handiwork and beautiful gifts.

I found inspiration in a book, in a word, on the internet, in watching the kids, in feeling the presence of faith in my heart, in meaningful conversation.

I thought fondly of the legacy that I have in my heritage (namely my grandmothers and mom) as I worked at 'recycling' my favorite quilt from Grandma, thinking of the joy that I will have in having this quilt re-worked into something that will be around me and help me to always remember that beautiful legacy.

It is easy to get caught up in the days and lose sight, lose awareness of the absolute beauty in the moments.  It is easy to just reply to that dreaded question, "The same ole same ole."  But it's never the same ole - it's just so difficult to speak into words.

Sitting Still

I have spent some time seeking to learn more about the practice of being still and quiet and listening; this type of meditation that leads me into a 'resting' of my thoughts so that I can have room for God to speak to me.  It seems that different people have different words to define what I'm talking about; some call it meditation, some listening prayer, some contemplation, some christian zen...

I don't care to get into any type of debate about it or what it's called, I just simply desire to grow in my level of closeness to God and have therefore in my endeavoring toward Him have learned something about this type of meditation.  I am going to call it 'sitting still.'

Over the past monthish I have been getting up early (well, earlier than anyone else around here) and sitting still with the Lord.  Getting up early has never been one of my strong points, but I have not had much difficulty in getting out of bed since I started meditating.  I'm a little amazed at the ease really, and am thankful.  I have to admit that I am using a little of Steve Pavlina's helpful hints regarding training yourself to get up early (you could check out his blog at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/).

I sort of have a routine now:

The alarm goes off - I turn it off and stretch...then sit up and put my feet on the floor.  I always do this the same and try to never 'think'... just do it.  This tactic has been very helpful in 'training' my body to respond to the alarm and get up.

I make my way to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of Kefir Tea, get Pandora up on the computer and set the station to 'Calm Meditation'.

I do run downstairs first thing and get up a child that has a hard time making it through the night dry and lead him into an early morning bathroom stop - he returns to bed in a stupor and I head upstairs for meditation.  This is irrelevant, but true to my morning routine.

I head out to my livingroom and grab my zafu (which is a round little cushion that I made for meditation - it helps me to sit lotus style a little more comfortably).

I begin by closing my eyes and taking some deep breaths and putting my mind and body in a state of 'rest' so that it is free to hear and interact with God.  This is a tough thing to do - my mind seems to want to think in overdrive all of the time and to simply NOT think is a great challenge in itself.  It is also difficult to 'forget' about your body and the urges to shift or be distracted by discomfort.  Distractions!  That's what I'm trying to overcome...

This is a simple beginning of this type of seeking to 'abide with Him' and I have found it be very enjoyable and I am hopeful for what God has for me in it all.

Finishing Feels Good

Being a mother with a bunch of kids and a housefull of re-occurring tasks, feeling like I've accomplished something has been challenging at times.

It has been nice over the years to have 'projects' of various sorts that have beginnings and ends - something FINISHED, something accomplished.

It is difficult to feel this in my regular routine.  The dishes are never done, there is always more laundry, another floor to clean, another window to wash, another meal to fix, boo-boo to put a band-aid on, nose to wipe, lesson to teach, errand to run....  At times it can feel rather suffocating-like because it seems like there is no forward movement, just perpetual tasks that are never finished.

Although there is much fruit to be seen over the years with our children, it is sometimes lost in the moments.  Meaning that it is challenging to see growth in the lives on my children on a daily basis.

Therefore, the majority of what I invest my time, effort and heart into does not provide a sense of accomplishment (at least in the moment).  Obviously, there are beautiful scenes in the midst of this kind of living that make it all worth while.  And even though it can feel like there is not accomplishment - THERE IS.

Hence, the little projects completed provide me with a nice boost of morale because I've completed something.  A job DONE.  A FINISHED product.  Something I can look at and say, "It's finally completed, you don't have to work on that again."

Today was such a day.  I finished 2 projects today and it feels nice.

Out in Left Field

Waiting...  waiting for the inning to be over?  Not really paying attention.  Not really ready for a play to come my way.  Simply taking up space, waiting.

I don't like feeling like this, or living like this.  I think both are probably more true than not right now.  It's driving me crazy.  Picking daisies in left field... la da da da da....

I'm watching the t-ball game, frustrated.  And I'm the one actually causing the frustration.  la da da da da

What am I doing?  Waiting, I think.  For what?  The riverbend to catch up to me?

Is that living in the moment?  Is that seizing the opportunities at hand?  Oh gosh, snap out of it!

Patient Unfolding

You would think that after MANY life circumstances I would have a better understanding about the manner in which much of life needs to 'unfold' before us.  There is a huge amount of patience-building in this.

It is no easy task to allow the situations of life mold and make us.  It is a painful process much of the time, and requires a significant effort to remain controlled enough to limit our impulses to jump in front of time.  I can very easily feel as though I know what must come and I desire to be assertive to make it happen.  In all honesty, this happens at times, but certainly not all of the time.  Many times, we must wait.

Waiting is tough.  Especially when we are eager for change.

But just as the plants of a garden 'unfold' into blossoms of beauty, perhaps it is best for me to remember that the unfolding of God's timing in my life holds its own beauty  -  if I will be patient to allow it to come to fruition.

Disappointment

It can be difficult in a season of challenge to believe that the end will eventually come.  I guess sometimes it does and sometimes it does not.

I am one such - hard to believe it will end person at the moment.  Yet in all of who I am, I NEED it to change.  I need to move out of this season.  It seems that I have done it all here (kicked, screamed, sought, been patient, pleaded. begged, found some good, lived through lots of bad, have continually fought to look at the bright side of the situation.... believed that God was in it, doing His work).

Oh God, what more do You have for me in this season.  Please bring forth 'spring'.

I wonder at putting these words out there.  Am I crying out for help?  Am I seeking sympathy?  From God I guess I am.  But for me, this writing is a way to release this pain from inside me to bring me the ability to go on.  So, I am sorry if you read this; it is for me.  It's not meant to raise a 'response' from anyone.

I want to believe that my season is coming to an end.  I want to believe that just up ahead, just around the riverbend, just over this next ridge, just beyond today.... the change is at hand.  Yet I have been seeking this for so long perhaps I have lost hope, or perhaps I have lost any confidence that it will actually occur.

Just as only the very tip of the iceberg is above water, I tend to think that our vitality is due to our inner being and only the tip is physical.  This season of circumstances is my tip but who I am through it in my inner being is the real issue.  I think I get that.  Yet so much of this season of difficulty is all about the challenges to the inner being.  One perpetuates the other...

And just when I think that there is a change at hand (and for me this has been rapped up in the inner being mostly) it somehow fades without coming - or perhaps I don't have eyes to see clearly.

I'm drowning today in this.  Yet, I believe that I will keep walking, keep seeking, keep longing for that 'light at the end of the tunnel' - the change of this season.  I will live through this disappointment yet again, believing that God does have a change coming in His own timing.  Believing that He will be faithful to complete His work.  Believing that this journey is for our good.  Believing that He will help me to walk according to His Holy Spirit in it, knowing full well that abiding with Him is my answer.

Seasons...The Rhythms of our Journey

Remember learning about the four seasons?  Coloring pictures of snow and a snowman for winter, leaves falling off the trees for autumn, a huge hot sun for summer and the new growth of flowers for spring?

Being from the northeast, I know all about these seasons from experience!  We are a very blessed group to have the full beauty of the four seasons come alive for us each year.  Honestly, there is significant and unique beauty in each season.  There is also challenge in each, and... some have greater challenges than others.

Living through the rhythms of these seasons over the years has provided needed changes and variations in activities that help to keep us thriving and excited about living.  Usually, when the season is about to change, people are ready for the coming excitement of something different.

I wonder if there might be an amazing parable authored by the hand of God in these seasons.  That by our journey through these weather patterns and nature cycles, it is reflective of our spiritual journey.  And I wonder what defined seasons there could be for our spiritual journey.  Doesn't it seem possible that just like the 4 physical seasons loop in a continuous rhythm there may be spiritual seasons in our lives that have a cyclic rhythm as well?  I wonder...

Consider the beauty and the challenges... and the need for the next season to take over when the time is right.  There are many more parallels that can be drawn as well, but I'll leave you some room for chewing it around.

I Can Only See What Makes Sense to Me...

Two little girls came into the world.  Born on the same day, with all of humanity's innate longings and love...

Lily was warm; the cozy room was full of family and love in kind conversation.  Happy faces communicated hope and security.  Looking ahead filled with faith of what would come and the unfolding of a picture of a life of happy adventure.  This was how she grew up.

Rose sat alone; cold in a barren room waiting for her over-worked mother to return.  There was not even hope for her in her mother's coming for she was beaten from her work and nothing remained for Rose, nothing but sharing in despair.  Hard, hopeless survival without light at the end of any conceivable tunnel.  This is how she grew up.

These girls grew into women.

Lily was vibrant, full of youthful excitement about life.  She was quick to try new things without concern for she was well aware of the unconditional love that flowed to her from her parents.  She made some mistakes but was able to learn from them and found success in abundance and balance.  Life seemed to call out to her with an invitation to challenges and adventure that filled her with hope, love and living fully.  She was ready to tackle was was next in life.

Rose was hard.  Her face only responding as was necessary for survival.  Nothing was real - it was only what had to be done.  She had no experience of tenderness or true kindness.  She knew only of taking.  Of people wanting and there being a price for everything.  Men bought her for a price.  She closed tight all real feelings and became stone.  She had tried to run, tried to change her circumstances - the cost was a pain too great to bare.  There was only hurt left for her; life was all pain.  She tucked those feelings of hurt and pain far into the depths of herself to keep from crumbling all together.

Can Lily understand Rose?  Can Rose understand Lily?  If they both witnessed the same scene, would their interpretation be the same?

They can only see what makes sense to them!

It is vital for us to remember that we walk in no one's shoes but our own.  We cannot and should not expect anyone to be the same.  Judging others finds a whole new perspective when looked at from this angle.

SPIRAL AWAKENING GRACE

I am a fairly reflective type of person, I think.  I do like to think beyond the surface.  I like to get to the real 'meat' of things.  I'm like that in the way I live, the way I learn, the way I teach, the way that I relate to others.

It seems to me that sometimes I get wrapped up in the busy surface living of life and it hinders me from seeing the deeper realities of my living.  Movement is one of those 'deeper realities'.  How can I tell if I'm moving forward?  Wandering?  Going backward?  Walking in circles?  Running?  Walking?  Crawling?

There often seems like there is a circular repetition of experiences - a cycle of sorts - that plays out in my life.  This can, at times prove to be frustrating to me.  Just when I think I may be getting 'somewhere' all of the sudden I feel as though I'm back to where I started.  And the cycle begins again.

Although it seems like I've returned to the beginning and have not gained any ground, I believe that it is more like climbing a spiral staircase.  It feels much like returning to the place where I started when in reality I've moved to begin a new revolution at a slightly higher level.

It is important to remember that during this slow (and often times stagnant feeling) moving up this circular staircase, there is transformation occurring in my life.  On this journey I hope that through continued efforts and growth I will become more aware of the climb and will also become more aware of the beauty of the journey.

I like to think of this 'life-cycle' as God's gift of SPIRAL AWAKENING GRACE.

Where is Your Mind?

I began to consider where my thoughts tend to go...

In my mind's wanderings do I spend more time in the past, the present or the future?

When I have a few 'free' moments, what do I think about?  Do I re-live past successes or walk through regrets, re-playing the moments and changing the things I would do differently?  Do I spend it on plans for today?  Do I spend it on hopes for the future?  Formulating goals?  Picturing what might be?

As I began to 'take notice' of the wanderings of my mind, I was a bit concerned about what I found out about myself; my thoughts tend to revolve around the past and future MORE than focus on the present!

If this is the case, I do not think that I can be making the most of the time at hand.

As is the case with life, BALANCE is a key to productive living - so it is true in this area of musings of the mind - BALANCE.

There is a time to review our past to glean as much from it as possible to grow and become more of who we are meant to be.  There is also a time to ponder what's ahead, setting appropriate goals and plans to grow and become more of who we are meant to be.

However, it seems to me that it is a great distraction to living life to it's fullest potential right NOW to be out of whack with our thoughts.

I am newly making considerable efforts in re-aligning my thoughts to dwell in the here and now instead of trailing backwards or forwards.

I cannot change the past and other than learning from it I shouldn't dwell there.  I cannot worry about tomorrow (today has enough worries of it's own) and other than being smart today so that tomorrow will not carry the mistakes of today into it and cause problems I shouldn't dwell there either.

I will take today and dwell there both physically and mentally realizing that living in the present will create a greater opportunity for me to be who I am meant to be - less distracted and manipulated by thoughts of the past and future.

Much Joy

I have found that I am full of thankfulness for the joy of being a mom to some wonderful kids.

The joy is really quite inexpressible.

Sometimes seasons come upon us, seasons that bring with them the unique elements that accompany that season.  Among an array of signs and components that make up this season for me, is this amazing heart-happy appreciation for my children.

Watching them grow and learn and think.  Living with their antics and insights.  Sharing love and hopes and dreams.  Walking through challenges and trials and hurts.  Journeying over bridges and mountains and deserts.  Journeying through refreshing springs and meadows.  Looking ahead together.  Together.

I find that many times I am surprised by what treasures are found in odd little places.  I find treasures in spring - the beauty of re-emerging growth and greenery.  I find treasures in words - spoken with kind hearts and with love.  I find treasures in movement - walking forward, journeying toward growth.  I find treasures in closeness - cuddles with little hands, butterfly kisses and teen hugs (and of course shoulder rubs).  Yes, treasures in odd little places.  Treasures in the midst.

What great treasures that I have in these wonderful children.  Beyond words, treasures that breathe amazing life into my lungs.  Giving me nourishment to live out loud.

Thanks guys.  I love you.

Count Your Blessings... Something Old, Something New

Books, of course.

I have found many blessings at the hands of books, old ones and new ones.  Currently, I have a little stack on my nightstand:  The Lost Books of the Bible, The One Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka, The Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross, Sitting Still by Patricia Hart Clifford, Alone Together by Sherry Turckle and The Bible.

Something old:

Well, the Bible would fulfill this one - the Lost Books of the Bible as well.  I would have to put the St. John of the Cross book in the semi-old category.

Something new:

The One Straw Revolution is a book about a Japanese farmer who doesn't cultivate, till, fertilize per say, use chemicals or weed and has tremendous success.  He's a bit of a thinker/philosopher and worth the read whether you are interested in his 'no-farming' methods of farming or not.

Alone Together is subtitled Why We Expect More from Technology and Less From Each Other.  Sherry Turkle is a psychoanalytic psychologist who has been studying the effects of technology on mankind for many years.  Oh, very interesting indeed!

Sitting Still is a book about christian meditation and one woman's pursuit of what she calls 'Christian zen'.  This book drew my attention because of my deep desire to grow in my quietness before the Lord.  I have only gotten through the introduction so far, but am looking forward to getting into the encouragement of the book.

I don't know what my problem is, but I usually have several books going at once.  I've often thought I should and even planned on limiting myself to one at a time.  It seems that it would be better to focus on one and get all that you can out of it and then move on.  I can't seem to accomplish that goal.

These types of books keep me thinking.  Keep me challenged.  They give me encouragement.  They truly are blessings.

I think that it's an interesting conversation starter to ask someone what they have been reading.  It tells us something about one another.

From me to you, many continued reading blessings!

Simplicity!

I finished reading the book Abundant Simplicity by Jan Johnson.  It was a terrific book and gave me much to consider as I walk out my days.

I have always had a leaning toward simplicity, at least my definition of simplicity.

Leigha's Dictionary


simplicity (n):  living in a way that is capitalizing on making the most of what is needed to provide a healthy environment for productive and positive living.  Not being 'cluttered' with extra distractions stuff/activities/noise that are not needed for a healthy environment.  Having and living with the right balance of stuff/activities/noise that are needed for a healthy environment.


With understanding that we are all unique, this simplicity is different for us all.  It changes for each of us as we journey through life.

It is important to me not to be distracted from what matters most to me because of too much stuff/activities/noise...  I want to seize hold of this concept and make changes that would lead me into a simpler lifestyle that would cut out those extra 'stuff/activities/noise' that are hinderances and not helps.

Finding that balance in the days is vital for me to seek the life that I feel called to live - making the most of my time and ending my journey feeling like life was not leading me, but that I was leading it.  Leading it as I felt that God was calling me to.

I have often thought of life like a river.  The 'action' of physical living is in the midst of the river - out in the current.  I don't like being dragged along by the current - even though that seems to be where most people are, where a lot is going on.  I have a definite sense that I am supposed to be out of the current and up on the bank.  It may not be where the 'action' is, but it's where I'm supposed to be.  Living simply.

It's easier said than done.  There is not a formula for this.  And it changes as we change.  But, during this time of seriously searching myself and finding me, I am desirous more than ever to make this a reality in my life.  So, off I go to seize what I know I should seize and be active in making my life simple.

Change

Change seems to generate a mixed bag of feelings.  Feelings that often times are contradictory.

Excitement of something new and maybe better mixed with fear of the unknown of what the change will bring.

Well, change is in the winds in my life.  I've chosen to settle with the belief that this change will be positive and healthy.  No doubt, it will have it's challenges and will prove difficult in the midst, but I have committed myself to staying on the upbeat side of these changes.

There are many unknowns ahead.  What should I do about those?  It is easy to let the worries of the world grab on and pull me down into worry.  I guess that whatever comes, I'll just deal with it as it comes.  I guess that whatever doors open or shut, I'll face it when/if it happens.  No sense in worrying or fretting over things that only MIGHT happen.

So baby steps forward.  As I find myself face to face with a choice, I'll make the best one I can in that moment.

There is much to do.  I guess I will do.  Looking ahead with victory in my hand and peace resting on my head.  Believing that what is next is forward motion.

Change!  Hmmmm...

Count Your Blessings Thursday - Friends

Being comfortable even when you're uncomfortable.

Laughing together.

Funny stories.

Talking or not talking, just because you feel like it or don't - and it's ok.

Comforting one another.

Listening.

Caring.

Walking together.

Living life together.

Sharing.

Saying something stupid and not worrying.

Listening to something stupid and still loving.

Content.

Friends.

The Trees

I"m still downloading from my little retreat last weekend.  One aspect of nature/creation that has, over the course of my life, spoke to me have been trees.  If I went on about this, you may likely consider me a bit crazy - oh yeah, that's right, I am.

During my walk about, I was affected by the trees.  MH (my hubby) chides me about the trees, saying that I have some odd connection with trees - I don't know what it is about trees?  It seems like they have things to tell me.  They SHARE with me.  There were 3 distinct things that they touched me with:

1.  The Pine trees teaching me about friends and living together.

2.  The old dead and dying beautiful trees, oddly shaped, oddly colored, brittle yet BEAUTIFUL.

3.  The old cherry tree (I think it was a cherry tree).  Now that tree was 'something'.  It sat tangled up with some brambles by a little stream.  It shared an encouragement to me.  I cried at that tree - I'm crying now but I can't even communicate in words what it was, how it 'spoke' to me.  But I left with hope.

And then, the book.  I had no intention of picking up any books - I was listening.  It was getting to be late in the afternoon and I knew my time was almost over.  I was sitting, looking out over the view behind the house, trying to listen.  I believe that I was specifically diverted away from my contemplation and drawn to the bookshelf and a particular book - I didn't even see the name of the book but knew that's where I was drawn.  I got up and slid the book from the shelf.  The title was the name of a TREE.  How funny, gloriously funny.  I've since read the book, but that's another post.

I wonder about the marvelous creation and the ways in which God uses it to speak to us.  I wonder at how much we likely MISS because we aren't being sensitive to the moving of the Holy Spirit in this.  Maybe I'm crazy, yes, we've already established that haven't we, but give it a try.

Count Your Blessings Thursday - The Triplet

In an effort to better keep my attitude positive and joyful I've decided to give myself some specific blessings to watch for each week.

This past week I was keeping an 'eye' out for three things:

A blessing that made me laugh
A blessing that made me pray
A blessing that made me quiet

There were many blessings that fulfilled these things over the week.  I'll share one for each:

A blessing that made me laugh -

The little boyz of course, the funny things they say.

A blessing that made me pray -

The death of a family member, one who lived in my neighborhood, one whose marriage was lived before me for many years (they were married for 62 years).  This man and his wife were a beautiful picture of a healthy marriage, a beautiful picture and example to me.  Obviously, the death was not the blessing, but the reminder of their lives and the impact that they had on me and many others is the blessing.

A blessing that made me quiet -

The pines.  God spoke to me through the pines.  It was amazing and beautiful beyond words, my only response was quiet.

For this week, I'll be looking for blessings via friends.

Running with the Goats

This past weekend I spent a day at a beautiful little farm.  It was quiet - oh, so quiet.  I  went on a wonderful walk out in the woods and was amazed over and over again at God's Spirit speaking to me in it all.  Speaking in a way that I can't form into words - not because I don't have the words to describe but because it seems as though He spoke to me without 'words'.  I know that doesn't make much sense and I don't understand it either.

I went for this day of quiet, a little retreat, to listen, hoping to hear from God.  It was an experience like no other.  Odd and simple.  Quiet and quiet.

Usually on a retreat, I fill up several pages of thoughts and notes ands things that I feel like God is revealing to me.  I did scribble a few things, a couple of lines on one page before my walk.  I even slipped a little tiny pocket-size notebook into my pocket before leaving on my walk.  I lost it somewhere in the woods - amongst the brambles I'm sure!!!

Perhaps I wasn't supposed to take notes.  Maybe it was about more than words.  I still am feeling like the full effect has not settled into me, like most of it is still hovering around me like an 'aura'.

The farm... the people there... - it was so precious, such a blessing.  The walk... the trees... and running with the goats.

I had seen the owner run with the goats once.  She would run and they would follow and it was something silly and fulfilling and meaningful in some weird way.  After my walk, I entered into the barn, not really thinking at all about anything.  I just wanted to interact with something living and moving, so I walked in the barn - or better 'skinnied' in the door so that no creature would escape.  I talked to them for a few minutes and they seemed to be all questions, "Who are you, and what are you doing in here?"  "Are you a friend or foe?"  "Do I like you or not?"

Maybe it was that last question, maybe I wanted to show them that I was likable and fun... so I walked out into the pasture talking excitedly, encouraging them to follow; enticing them that I was about to lead them into something that would make their day brighter.

"Come on, here we go, let's RUN."  And sure enough they followed me.  We ran the 'loop' several times - a few of those goats cheating in excess by the end.  A couple loyal followers though raced it all with me.  And as we came back down to the barn each time, one crazy goat would rise up on hind legs like he was a black stallion.  I couldn't help it, but had to let out a whoop every time he did that.

Yep, running with the goats was a simple, weird, fulfilling, crazy, pleasurable thing I did.  I bet I'll do it again if I get the chance sometime, so if you see a loony lady running around with goats, it may be me (or the owner of that farm, she's probably a little loony too).

What do You Own in the End?

"Most people like to own things - land, luggage... it makes them feel secure.  But all that can be taken away.  In the end the only thing you really own in your STORY."  The Drover.

Our 'story'.   Yes, in the end that is all that we own.

Life - real life - is not measured by what we amass but on the STORY that we live.

In my experience, it is easy to become entangled in the deceptive singsong of the advertising that bombards us by the moment as we walk our days.  In the course of the normal day, most of us are arrested repeatedly by marketing; radio ads, tv ads, signs/billboards...  All of which are hoping to convince us that we NEED to purchase something.

Something beautiful to make our home lovely.  Some service to make us lovely.  Some activity to teach our children 'skills' or make them smarter, happier, healthier...  Something to make our life easier or more comfortable.  On and on and on and it becomes very difficult not to be affected by this onslaught - at times I believe that we become unconsciously aware of the affect they are having on us.

Consider what life would be like if we had a day or a few days or weeks where there was no outside advertising involved in our life.  When I think about what that would be like, I think quiet... less stress...  I think that my brain could actually think it's own thoughts.  Perhaps I could actually have ears to hear things that really matter.

I wonder if these 'distractions' have impact beyond what we are even aware on our living our STORY.

When we are busy seeking the benefit of things in our lives, that pursuit of happiness often backfires, luring us to use people and love things.  This is oh so sad yet oh so easy and I believe that most of us could agree that it has happened to us at times.  We get sidetracked - led down a rabbit trail of life.

In the end, all we really own is our STORY.

What Do You Want?

At first glance this question seems very basic and obvious, but as I began to sit with myself and ponder what the answer was for me, it wasn't as simple as it first appeared.

I found that there were some major areas of my life that I began to 'assign' answers to 'What do I want?'

After I felt that I had covered what was important to me, I began to journal through it a bit...

I would write, "What do I want?" then give my answer.  Then I asked myself the even tougher question, "Do my actions in this area line up with what I want?"

Ok, so this was the REALLY tough part of this for me.  My actions...  Do they point to what I want?  You would think that they naturally would.  Don't we naturally work toward what we want?  Wouldn't our actions reveal what we were striving for?

Well, for me some of my actions seemed to be genuinely in order, but some were disturbingly NOT.  I must admit, I was surprised by some of what my honesty revealed about my actions not being in line with my desires.  How does this happen?

For example, one of my answers to 'What do I want?' was 'I want to be a source of positive energy and encouragement - to bring joy into any place that I enter.'

I do not believe that this is true about me.  Maybe true sometimes, but not even the majority of the time.  Even though I desire to have this vitality about me, I can often get wrapped up in the difficulties of life and get bogged down in it.  This affects my 'positive energy' output.  In reality, there are many times when I walk into a room seeking to be positively affected by the others there instead of exuding that positivity myself.  This of course do not at all line up with 'What do I want?'

Obviously, I understand the balance in the above - you can't always be 'bubbling over with joy' but I do want to be known for my positive attitude and encouraging presence.  Hmmm....  Something needs to be addressed in my life.

There were other 'eye openers' as I walked through this exercise.  I do believe it was helpful.  I do believe that as I open up my mind and soul to these searchings, I will understand myself better and understand what needs to be addressed and changed to truly be living in the life I genuinely desire for myself.

I am amazed over and over again at myself and the discrepancies I find between my heart and my hands.  It is a humbling reality, one that I plan to continue to seek to reveal and change.

Walking through asking and answering these questions can be a very beneficial endeavor for anyone seeking to grow.

What do You Fear?

I have been reading through a little book titled, Abundant Simplicity, Discovering the Unhurried Rhythms of Grace by Jan Johnson.  Jan speaks about 'simplicity disciplines' in relation to our lifestyle choices that might distract us in our priority purposes, namely spending time growing in relationship with God.

She posed a few seemingly simple questions to ponder through.  I found that these questions were not simple and led me to places I liked and DIDN'T like about myself.

In an effort to sort through the reality of ourselves, consider thinking through these questions as well.

To shed the light on what is behind some of what we do, perhaps the first thing to do is to address the idea that some actions are likely a result of fear.  Many times our fears become quite elusive to us.  They disguise themselves to us so that we don't really SEE them for what they are; namely negative little buggers that should be cast aside.

A few probing questions might help us:

*What do I most dread losing?

*What do I spend the majority of my energy on?

*What do I think about the most?

*What do I spend my money on?

Many times once we become aware of what may lay behind our choices, it will help us to make better decisions.

Expectations and Joy

Expectations!  They can generate much anticipation for something good... or bad.  They can create some friendly emotions as well as negative ones - and all this without actually anything happening for real.

Hmmm....

So, what's the vote?  Are expectations good or bad for us?

I'm not sure that my current position on expectations is one that is for the long run or even balanced, but probably the result of circumstances and past experiences and season of life.  I'm thinking, at least for today, that I need to let go of expectations altogether.  Release them as if they are weighing me down, generating disappointments, taking my mind to a possible future that likely will not occur.

Sometimes I find that I am not living for the moment because I am looking out to some expectation that I'm hoping will come to fruition in my life.  Just waiting... waiting to be fulfilled when that said 'thing' happens.  Not living in the moment and finding joy in it, but waiting.  And waiting on something that, in all honesty, even if it did occur would not be a display of exactly what I was hoping for.

I'm aware that this type of lifestyle is NOT optimum.

So, when I find myself in this state, I have been attempting to simply remove expectations and turn my focus on the NOW and seek to make the most of life right now.

It is definitely easier to look at life with, 'The grass is greener' mentality.  Either it would be greener, when or if...  It's easy, but then you spend your life waiting and not living.

Even when the right now is hard and challenging, perhaps to make the most of our time and energy it would be best to release those expectations and simply turn our focus on how we can live the best we can for today.

I am hoping to find fulfillment in JUST BEING.  Not in my circumstances or what might or might not happen in my life... but simply being who I am and attempting to be the best I can in each minute of each day - fully engaged and focused on the NOW.

How to Reconcile?

Chances given
Chances lost
Humanity in the midst
Fighting
Giving up
"Keep trying."  My heart screams.
A wearied voice offers no reply
Chances gone
Lost
Sadness remains
A torn piece of my heart gone

A tiny glimmer of hope that peace has come

Once you Swap Spit...

My Germ-a-phob daughter #2 actually took a sip out of daughter #1's glass tonight.  She has recently acquired her first lip smacking, kiss swappin' boyfriend.  She swaps spit for the first time in her life and it is transforming!

I have to admit that as a conservative mom who has always sought to teach appropriate slow-moving physical relationship, this new spit-swapping thing is tough.  But, it does have it's perks.  Daughter #2 is growing from the 'germ-a-phobic freak' that she was to someone who is more balanced in that area.

Amazing what a mom can find as positive benefits for her daughter's kissing escapades.

In all honesty, daughter #2 is a well-rounded young woman who is seeking to walk into womanhood.  I trust her and her kissing.  Although, I do have my eyes on that young man, don't you think that I don't!!!

Daughter #2 is 18 and her first kiss has occurred in this, her 18th year.   He, in turn, is a childhood friend of many years!  I guess I should be thankful that it took him so long to make his move.

Parents walk through many seasons.  Just as teens walk through many seasons.  Don't think that parents have anything figured out!  Cuz, just when you THINK you do, wha-bam, something happens, and you realize that you don't.

There has not been any season of motherhood more wonderful than mothering the teen years.  Really.  My girls are truly my best friends and wonderful companions.  They offer great advice and spur me on toward love and good deeds like no other.

So, I'll take the spit-swapping like a trooper and prepare my heart for what God has next with the assurity and hope that comes from living in Him.  It is beautiful.  I smile and am full of joy in walking together with these wonderful girls, my daughters!

The 2 Realities we Live In

I worked on my list of things that make me happy - it was fairly long and included things like,

Reading a good book
Spending quality time with someone I like
Food to feed my children
A hot shower on a cold day
Creating something
Accomplishing something
Reaching a goal
Words of encouragement
Watching my children grow and learn...

When I went through this list and eliminated anything that wasn't ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for my happiness, my list transformed to simply a few items.  I sincerely considered my foundation asking myself repeatedly, "What is VITAL to my happiness?" or "Could I be happy without this?"

Even some of the things on my list that cause me the greatest joy were crossed off!

As I considered what remained, a connective theme emerged.  This 'theme' led me to the following thought:  We consist of two distinct realities.  The outer or the physical reality, where we typically reside.  This outer reality is the basis of most of our choices and the driving force behind what we do.

There is another reality that seems to exist.  That would be our inner reality.  This is where we live in a spiritual way.  This is where we face the depths of what we believe and why.  It reveals our deepest desires and our purest purposes.

Even though this inner reality seems to 'play second fiddle' to the physical reality, it shouts out the answer to the question at hand - What makes me happy?

These 3 things were all that remained on my list:

Being valued/loved
Loving/valuing others
Relational spiritual connection 


I am certain that these thoughts are  not conclusive - I have so much to learn.  I thought it valuable to walk through this process and believe that it's a beginning to a deeper understanding of what's important to me in living this life.

I hope that you found it beneficial as well.  I would love to hear what remained on your list.

Happy New Year and many happy wishes for making what's important to you a priority this year - which in turn will also promote fulfillment and joy for you and will benefit those around you.