Two Types of Self

As I thought about what freedom from self meant, I began to wrestle with the idea a little because, quite honestly, I see self as good and bad.

So, let me explain what I mean.  What if there was 'true self' and 'enemy in self's clothing'?

Like a wolf in sheeps clothing, so is the enemy in self's clothing.  It poses as self, and deceives and manipulates us into thinking and believing that what it wants is coming from self.

True self, on the other hand, is the real deal - a beautiful, unique, handmade child of God.  Having wonderful giftings that benefit others as well as providing balanced esteem and value.

There is a genuine beauty in this true self that is not to be confused with the 'enemy in self's clothing'. 

The imposter 'self' is where bondage occurs.  This enemy is like a spoiled, immature brat that can think only of satisfying its own interests.  It screams for attention and sulks when it doesn't receive fulfillment.  And when we realize it's ugliness we become repulsed by it - and rightly so. 

But somehow it slinks and intertwines with true self in a way that can become confusing.  We're convinced that we've got to die to self.... but many times that stinky imposter has ravelled around true self to the point that when we're dying to the imposter self... we're dying to 'true self' too.

This is bad.

True self is who we are - it's who God made us to shine as His creation before Him and before others - it's who we are to be productive and happy - finding joy in others as well as in fulfillment in our part.  If we die to this 'self' we are left empty, no longer productive members of the community - simply someone to be shuffled around.  There is no longer a sense of accomplishment or joy in contributing something of value.

Have you ever seen a child who was able to 'help' you do something?  They absolutely BEAM with the joy of their accomplishment - the joy of contributing.  This is true self.

Have you ever seen a child who has been abused into believing that he/she is of no value,  that they cannot do anything good....  It is heart renching, sad, terrible, sickening...  You feel like screaming in frustration because that child has been robbed of the truth - that they are valuable.  Someone has stolen their 'true self'. 

In our efforts to find freedom from the bondage from 'enemy in self's clothing' we need to carefully untangle it from 'true self' to make sure that we do not damage what is precious and productive; beautiful.

Getting rid of the imposter self - FREEDOM.

Getting rid of true self - BONDAGE.