I was shivering, craddled up in a ball trying to keep out the encircling frost. It was dark and I considered the idea that I may not live through another night. Eyes were of no use in the blackness as I reached for grass, leaves, anything that might wrap a little warmth around me.
"This darkness is my tomb." I spoke in a whisper for who knew what might be close enough to hear, what might be lurking within reach of me. I almost didn't care, my flicker of hope was diminishing, like the blackness might have chewed it little by little until there was only a crumb left. Despair.
My teeth we chattering and I wrapped my own arms around myself hoping to find some type of comfort. I began to speak to myself about hanging on and about letting go, waging war over which one was the better choice. I was so tired, my body ready to stop the bitter fight for life. I felt the end was near, like a black hand enclosing tightly around my throat.
Something flickered. Was that my mind playing tricks? They were used to the darkness. No. I saw a gleam of white dazzle in a stream from above to just in front of me. Maybe the end had come and I was no longer in reality. It felt real as my body responded to the warmth that seeped from the light. It wasn't bright but seemed to linger with a dim illumination warming me gradually; making my eyes adjust at a pace they could handle. Aaahh.
Baffled, I could not decide if I was alive or dead or simply dreaming. The warmth felt so real. Actually, the warmth was more real and intense than the light. It felt as though I was thawing out in front of a fireplace. My body was slowly emerging from the long cold and the warmth spread to the inner parts igniting the tinders of longing.
I'd forgotten what longing was, I had so long been imprisioned in the blackness that it had been snuffed out. It was powerful, so much so that I became frightened by it. I almost uttered, "Go away" but the warmth was too soothing; I could not give it up.
It began to intensify in brightness and I could see. Really see, not pretend to see what things looked like, but really see. Amazed.
The warmth and energy of the light brought birth to a display of beauty. I could feel that my mouth was hanging open in wonder; my eyes we big saucers as I gazed. Is this real? I must be dead, the darkness must have gained victory over me.
The vision that the light made possible began to gather songs from my soul. Songs? I'd forgotten songs. I could see the pathways that were cut beautifully in the midst of the thick tangled forest; pathways that I did not know existed. I had spent countless tedious, energy-zapping hours traipsing through the brush when all along there were pathways!
My heart was full of something that I could not describe to be either happy or sad, but a odd mixture of both. The light continued to unveil before my eyes the marvels of what I was unable to see in the great darkness. It was dizzying, amazing, beautiful, instilling a new pounding in my heart; an awakining. It was calling to me to rise.
As I contemplated the state of my physical condition and wondered if I even had the ability to stand on my own feet, something miraculous began to happen. Quickly, without time for me to respond, the light became condensed and filled me. Yes, actually went in and through me. It was beyond description. Energy, warmth, song, dance, vitality, hope, healing, supplying. Love.
Filled with power that the light had generated in me, I began to live out of the darkness.
Freedom....
What a vivid description I wonder if this is a common experience
ReplyDeleteWould you say you've had this experience?
ReplyDeleteI'm always glad to keep you warm, even your freezing cold feet.
ReplyDeleteThe Creeper you live with...