The other day I was sitting at a coffee shop with two of my daughters. My mind had been thinking about something, as sometimes is the case, and I wanted to get some outside thoughts... Now, sometimes I have to admit I think about strange stuff. But, hey, if the kids don't know by now....
So, I let the 'weird' question fly, "Hey, would you guys ever go skinny dipping?"
My line of thinking was not all about skinny dipping, but rather about our inhibitions and what creates them and how they affect our decisions and our thoughts about ourselves...
I got the inevitable, 'mom you are crazy' look from them. They must be on pins and needles half the time wondering what odd thing I'll say next (unfortunately, this is not an isolated event). Maybe my brain has been injured and these 'hair-brained' thoughts are a result; I don't know...
Anyway, after the blank stare for a moment, I pried, "Well?"
"Nope, never - I don't even dress in front of anybody."
A nod of agreement from daughter #2.
There is a temptation to think thoughts like, 'How wonderfully modest they are...' but I found myself asking, "Why are they so self-conscious?" Like even in an appropriate setting (if there is such a thing - I guess I think that there could be) - why are they so adamant about not stripping off the outer shell?
I'm partially trying to explain why I was asking such a question when daughter #1 pipes up and asks, "Mom, are you going through an identity crisis?"
Can't get anything past them!
"Well, maybe" I say.
I have been thinking about how much of what we do is a reflection of what others think... and if I was in the company of a small group of women, would I feel comfortable enough with who I am on the inside to strip off the outside? Hmmm? I know - weird. I know that the whole nude/sexual/sensuous thing is a big NO NO for many conservative thinkers, but in this context I'm just considering (without there being any inappropriate acting or thinking in that realm) What would I do? And, more importantly, WHY?
If I am secure with who I am, why would I care if someone saw me without clothes? Again, let's try to keep this hypothetical questioning in the 'all things appropriate' mode.
Isn't my biggest concern, 'what will others think of my breaking down, bare, no way to cover it up, body?' My, no way to hide flaws?
Would I struggle with comparing and feeling ashamed and embarrassed over what's true about my outside or would I enjoy the inside of others as well as my own?
If the outside were no longer an issue, would we be able to focus better on the inside?
I am confident that this hypothetical situation probably doesn't occur very often (in the appropriate context that I'm referring to) in reality - but could it?
I'm leaning on the 'it could' and possibly even the 'it should'. Because I would want to be able to celebrate the inner beauty that God has manifested in each one of us - without the taintedness that comes from the putting on of the 'cover'.
About Me
- Leigha
- I am a bit of a loon, searching for more depth in life and seeking more color in living.
Good thought provoker.
ReplyDeleteContext is important.
Once on a blazing hot summer day, I drove to a coworkers house to return a pari fo forgotten sunglasses. The wife was bi-polar - she quickly convinced my mids to jump into the pool clothes and all. At first they were like, this breaks the rules, but then, they were giggling and relieved that they could cool off without worry. I lived that "the rules" could be broken, and thought it intersting that the woman didn't live by conventional rules.
Another time a bunch of poeple were discussing locker rooms and how tough it is for adolescents. One woman, who's married to amn from Africa, was very matter-of-fact that the whole village bathes togehter without clothes and nobody thinks anything of it - when it's boiling hot and there are not a lot of private spaces in Africa, rules apparently are different.
Personally, I would be careful not to cause anybody else to "stumble" or have problems, Other than that, I have come to think that many rules and conventions are simply products of environment.
Also - just becuase someone would not skinny dip might not mean they would not be willing to open up and be authentic and free in other ways. There might be too much worry about getting stuck without clothes or something.
Yes, I certainly think peeps can be authentic without striping. I was struck by the simplistic logic of the what's on the inside of a person vs. what's on the outside - and it's relationship to 'nakedness'. Seeing the inner beauty of a person regardless of the outside and also being able to feel confident in our own inner beauty to be just 'bared' of the outer shell.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I know that this is an imperfect parallel! Ha ha ha but sometimes I think these weird things - I can't help it.
I also think that once you get to a certain age and a certain understanding, you can accept your body however it is and that can be freeing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the thought. Are you insinuating that I'm a 'certain age'?
ReplyDeleteMaybe at a certain age, you come to the realization that it's flawed beyond repair... and you're forced to be resigned to that. It's ok, it's part of the life. And maybe, we're then freed to accept it and begin thinking of ourselves and others in a deeper more inner way.
That's kind of a nice thought. 'Old' people are beautiful in that way.