Sitting Still

I have spent some time seeking to learn more about the practice of being still and quiet and listening; this type of meditation that leads me into a 'resting' of my thoughts so that I can have room for God to speak to me.  It seems that different people have different words to define what I'm talking about; some call it meditation, some listening prayer, some contemplation, some christian zen...

I don't care to get into any type of debate about it or what it's called, I just simply desire to grow in my level of closeness to God and have therefore in my endeavoring toward Him have learned something about this type of meditation.  I am going to call it 'sitting still.'

Over the past monthish I have been getting up early (well, earlier than anyone else around here) and sitting still with the Lord.  Getting up early has never been one of my strong points, but I have not had much difficulty in getting out of bed since I started meditating.  I'm a little amazed at the ease really, and am thankful.  I have to admit that I am using a little of Steve Pavlina's helpful hints regarding training yourself to get up early (you could check out his blog at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/).

I sort of have a routine now:

The alarm goes off - I turn it off and stretch...then sit up and put my feet on the floor.  I always do this the same and try to never 'think'... just do it.  This tactic has been very helpful in 'training' my body to respond to the alarm and get up.

I make my way to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of Kefir Tea, get Pandora up on the computer and set the station to 'Calm Meditation'.

I do run downstairs first thing and get up a child that has a hard time making it through the night dry and lead him into an early morning bathroom stop - he returns to bed in a stupor and I head upstairs for meditation.  This is irrelevant, but true to my morning routine.

I head out to my livingroom and grab my zafu (which is a round little cushion that I made for meditation - it helps me to sit lotus style a little more comfortably).

I begin by closing my eyes and taking some deep breaths and putting my mind and body in a state of 'rest' so that it is free to hear and interact with God.  This is a tough thing to do - my mind seems to want to think in overdrive all of the time and to simply NOT think is a great challenge in itself.  It is also difficult to 'forget' about your body and the urges to shift or be distracted by discomfort.  Distractions!  That's what I'm trying to overcome...

This is a simple beginning of this type of seeking to 'abide with Him' and I have found it be very enjoyable and I am hopeful for what God has for me in it all.

Finishing Feels Good

Being a mother with a bunch of kids and a housefull of re-occurring tasks, feeling like I've accomplished something has been challenging at times.

It has been nice over the years to have 'projects' of various sorts that have beginnings and ends - something FINISHED, something accomplished.

It is difficult to feel this in my regular routine.  The dishes are never done, there is always more laundry, another floor to clean, another window to wash, another meal to fix, boo-boo to put a band-aid on, nose to wipe, lesson to teach, errand to run....  At times it can feel rather suffocating-like because it seems like there is no forward movement, just perpetual tasks that are never finished.

Although there is much fruit to be seen over the years with our children, it is sometimes lost in the moments.  Meaning that it is challenging to see growth in the lives on my children on a daily basis.

Therefore, the majority of what I invest my time, effort and heart into does not provide a sense of accomplishment (at least in the moment).  Obviously, there are beautiful scenes in the midst of this kind of living that make it all worth while.  And even though it can feel like there is not accomplishment - THERE IS.

Hence, the little projects completed provide me with a nice boost of morale because I've completed something.  A job DONE.  A FINISHED product.  Something I can look at and say, "It's finally completed, you don't have to work on that again."

Today was such a day.  I finished 2 projects today and it feels nice.

Out in Left Field

Waiting...  waiting for the inning to be over?  Not really paying attention.  Not really ready for a play to come my way.  Simply taking up space, waiting.

I don't like feeling like this, or living like this.  I think both are probably more true than not right now.  It's driving me crazy.  Picking daisies in left field... la da da da da....

I'm watching the t-ball game, frustrated.  And I'm the one actually causing the frustration.  la da da da da

What am I doing?  Waiting, I think.  For what?  The riverbend to catch up to me?

Is that living in the moment?  Is that seizing the opportunities at hand?  Oh gosh, snap out of it!