What do You Fear?

I have been reading through a little book titled, Abundant Simplicity, Discovering the Unhurried Rhythms of Grace by Jan Johnson.  Jan speaks about 'simplicity disciplines' in relation to our lifestyle choices that might distract us in our priority purposes, namely spending time growing in relationship with God.

She posed a few seemingly simple questions to ponder through.  I found that these questions were not simple and led me to places I liked and DIDN'T like about myself.

In an effort to sort through the reality of ourselves, consider thinking through these questions as well.

To shed the light on what is behind some of what we do, perhaps the first thing to do is to address the idea that some actions are likely a result of fear.  Many times our fears become quite elusive to us.  They disguise themselves to us so that we don't really SEE them for what they are; namely negative little buggers that should be cast aside.

A few probing questions might help us:

*What do I most dread losing?

*What do I spend the majority of my energy on?

*What do I think about the most?

*What do I spend my money on?

Many times once we become aware of what may lay behind our choices, it will help us to make better decisions.

Expectations and Joy

Expectations!  They can generate much anticipation for something good... or bad.  They can create some friendly emotions as well as negative ones - and all this without actually anything happening for real.

Hmmm....

So, what's the vote?  Are expectations good or bad for us?

I'm not sure that my current position on expectations is one that is for the long run or even balanced, but probably the result of circumstances and past experiences and season of life.  I'm thinking, at least for today, that I need to let go of expectations altogether.  Release them as if they are weighing me down, generating disappointments, taking my mind to a possible future that likely will not occur.

Sometimes I find that I am not living for the moment because I am looking out to some expectation that I'm hoping will come to fruition in my life.  Just waiting... waiting to be fulfilled when that said 'thing' happens.  Not living in the moment and finding joy in it, but waiting.  And waiting on something that, in all honesty, even if it did occur would not be a display of exactly what I was hoping for.

I'm aware that this type of lifestyle is NOT optimum.

So, when I find myself in this state, I have been attempting to simply remove expectations and turn my focus on the NOW and seek to make the most of life right now.

It is definitely easier to look at life with, 'The grass is greener' mentality.  Either it would be greener, when or if...  It's easy, but then you spend your life waiting and not living.

Even when the right now is hard and challenging, perhaps to make the most of our time and energy it would be best to release those expectations and simply turn our focus on how we can live the best we can for today.

I am hoping to find fulfillment in JUST BEING.  Not in my circumstances or what might or might not happen in my life... but simply being who I am and attempting to be the best I can in each minute of each day - fully engaged and focused on the NOW.

How to Reconcile?

Chances given
Chances lost
Humanity in the midst
Fighting
Giving up
"Keep trying."  My heart screams.
A wearied voice offers no reply
Chances gone
Lost
Sadness remains
A torn piece of my heart gone

A tiny glimmer of hope that peace has come

Once you Swap Spit...

My Germ-a-phob daughter #2 actually took a sip out of daughter #1's glass tonight.  She has recently acquired her first lip smacking, kiss swappin' boyfriend.  She swaps spit for the first time in her life and it is transforming!

I have to admit that as a conservative mom who has always sought to teach appropriate slow-moving physical relationship, this new spit-swapping thing is tough.  But, it does have it's perks.  Daughter #2 is growing from the 'germ-a-phobic freak' that she was to someone who is more balanced in that area.

Amazing what a mom can find as positive benefits for her daughter's kissing escapades.

In all honesty, daughter #2 is a well-rounded young woman who is seeking to walk into womanhood.  I trust her and her kissing.  Although, I do have my eyes on that young man, don't you think that I don't!!!

Daughter #2 is 18 and her first kiss has occurred in this, her 18th year.   He, in turn, is a childhood friend of many years!  I guess I should be thankful that it took him so long to make his move.

Parents walk through many seasons.  Just as teens walk through many seasons.  Don't think that parents have anything figured out!  Cuz, just when you THINK you do, wha-bam, something happens, and you realize that you don't.

There has not been any season of motherhood more wonderful than mothering the teen years.  Really.  My girls are truly my best friends and wonderful companions.  They offer great advice and spur me on toward love and good deeds like no other.

So, I'll take the spit-swapping like a trooper and prepare my heart for what God has next with the assurity and hope that comes from living in Him.  It is beautiful.  I smile and am full of joy in walking together with these wonderful girls, my daughters!

The 2 Realities we Live In

I worked on my list of things that make me happy - it was fairly long and included things like,

Reading a good book
Spending quality time with someone I like
Food to feed my children
A hot shower on a cold day
Creating something
Accomplishing something
Reaching a goal
Words of encouragement
Watching my children grow and learn...

When I went through this list and eliminated anything that wasn't ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for my happiness, my list transformed to simply a few items.  I sincerely considered my foundation asking myself repeatedly, "What is VITAL to my happiness?" or "Could I be happy without this?"

Even some of the things on my list that cause me the greatest joy were crossed off!

As I considered what remained, a connective theme emerged.  This 'theme' led me to the following thought:  We consist of two distinct realities.  The outer or the physical reality, where we typically reside.  This outer reality is the basis of most of our choices and the driving force behind what we do.

There is another reality that seems to exist.  That would be our inner reality.  This is where we live in a spiritual way.  This is where we face the depths of what we believe and why.  It reveals our deepest desires and our purest purposes.

Even though this inner reality seems to 'play second fiddle' to the physical reality, it shouts out the answer to the question at hand - What makes me happy?

These 3 things were all that remained on my list:

Being valued/loved
Loving/valuing others
Relational spiritual connection 


I am certain that these thoughts are  not conclusive - I have so much to learn.  I thought it valuable to walk through this process and believe that it's a beginning to a deeper understanding of what's important to me in living this life.

I hope that you found it beneficial as well.  I would love to hear what remained on your list.

Happy New Year and many happy wishes for making what's important to you a priority this year - which in turn will also promote fulfillment and joy for you and will benefit those around you.